Empathy Beyond Gender: Understanding the Needs of Maternity Patients

When I started my journey as a midwife, one question kept coming up: “As a man, can you truly understand what women go through during pregnancy and childbirth?” At first, I wasn’t sure how to answer. But as I worked with more patients, I learned an important truth—empathy goes beyond gender. It’s not about experiencing the same pain; it’s about listening, caring, and meeting people where they are.

In this post, I’ll share how empathy helps us connect with maternity patients and why it’s a skill anyone in healthcare can develop, regardless of gender.

The Heart of Maternity Care: Empathy

Pregnancy and childbirth are deeply emotional experiences. Each patient comes with unique concerns, fears, and expectations. While I’ll never personally experience labor pains, I can still provide comfort, reassurance, and support by putting myself in my patients’ shoes.

Active Listening: One of the simplest ways to show empathy is to listen. I pay attention to every concern, whether it’s about physical discomfort or emotional worries.

Being Present: Sometimes, all a patient needs is someone to hold their hand and say, “You’re doing great.”

A Story of Connection

One evening during my clinical practice, I met a first-time mother who was visibly anxious. She kept asking if her baby would be okay, even though all her tests were normal. I sat with her and said, “I understand you’re scared. Let’s go through this step by step together.”

As we talked, she started to relax. By the time she held her baby for the first time, she looked at me and said, “Thank you for listening. It meant more than you know.”

This moment reminded me that patients don’t always need someone who’s experienced the same journey—they need someone who genuinely cares.

Why Empathy Goes Beyond Gender

The belief that only women can understand maternity patients limits the potential of male midwives. Here’s why empathy doesn’t depend on gender:

1. Training and Experience Matter: Healthcare professionals, regardless of gender, are trained to recognize and respond to patients’ needs.

2. Emotional Intelligence: Empathy comes from emotional intelligence, which anyone can develop through practice and exposure.

3. Breaking Stereotypes: When male midwives approach their work with empathy, they challenge stereotypes and prove that care is universal.

The Needs of Maternity Patients

Empathy starts with understanding what maternity patients truly need. These include:

1. Emotional Support: Many women feel vulnerable during pregnancy. Offering reassurance and creating a safe space is key.

2. Clear Communication: Patients want to know what’s happening with their bodies and their babies. Explaining medical terms in simple language helps build trust.

3. Respect for Their Choices: Every patient has personal preferences for their care. Respecting these choices is an essential part of empathy.

4. Practical Assistance: From teaching breathing exercises to answering questions about baby care, small acts of help go a long way.

Building Empathy as a Healthcare Provider

If you’re in healthcare and want to develop empathy, here are a few tips:

Ask Open-Ended Questions: Instead of assuming you know what the patient needs, ask, “How can I help you feel more comfortable?”

Practice Active Listening: Don’t interrupt. Let the patient express themselves fully before responding.

Reflect on Your Experiences: Think about moments when you felt vulnerable and how others supported you. Use those insights to guide your care.

Learn from Feedback: Patients will often let you know—directly or indirectly—how you’re doing. Use their feedback to improve.

A Personal Note on Empathy

As a male midwife, I’ve faced skepticism and challenges, but empathy has been my most valuable tool. It allows me to connect with patients on a human level, breaking down barriers of gender and culture.

One of the most rewarding parts of my work is hearing patients say, “I felt cared for.” That’s the power of empathy—it transcends gender and leaves a lasting impact.

Conclusion

Maternity care isn’t just about medical procedures; it’s about building trust, offering support, and understanding each patient’s unique journey. Empathy isn’t limited to gender—it’s a skill that comes from the heart.

If you’re in healthcare, remember that your ability to care for others lies in your willingness to listen and connect. And if you’re a patient, know that you deserve care that makes you feel seen and valued.

What’s your take on the role of empathy in healthcare? Let’s discuss in the comments—I’d love to hear your thoughts!